Your Children's Children

Friday January 2, 2026/13 Tevet 5786/Shabbat Vayechi

וְעַתָּ֡ה שְׁנֵֽי־בָנֶ֩יךָ֩ הַנּוֹלָדִ֨ים לְךָ֜ בְּאֶ֣רֶץ מִצְרַ֗יִם עַד־בֹּאִ֥י אֵלֶ֛יךָ מִצְרַ֖יְמָה לִי־הֵ֑ם אֶפְרַ֙יִם֙ וּמְנַשֶּׁ֔ה כִּרְאוּבֵ֥ן וְשִׁמְע֖וֹן יִֽהְיוּ־לִֽי׃

Now, your two sons, who were born to you in the land of Egypt before I came to you in Egypt, shall be mine; Ephraim and Manasseh shall be mine no less than Reuben and Simeon. (Genesis 48:5)

Hevre/Friends,

As the youngest of four very close siblings, I’ve had the benefit of wise and loving counsel from my sisters and brother while we all raised our children over the last four decades. More recently, my brother and I have watched with wondrous awe as our sisters and brothers-in-law have become grandparents. Poignantly, this new chapter is unfolding as our mother faces the challenges of aging and her role as “Bubbie”, as matriarchal caregiver, evolves into her being the one cared for by her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. 

This week’s Torah portion of Vayechi, the last in the book of Bereshit, also has me thinking about my own grandparents as we read about Jacob’s last interactions with his children and especially with two of his grandsons, Joseph’s sons Ephraim and Menashe, whom Jacob claims as his own, as the verse above describes.

Trying to make sense of Jacob’s bizarre declaration, Rabbi Pinchas Peli, z”l, a 20th century Israeli scholar and writer, suggested that “Jacob is not concerned about his own children, the first generation of immigrants, who still remember “the old country” and the traditional home of Jacob in which they grew up. To make sure that the chain of tradition continues, he tries to communicate with the third generation, his grandchildren…For that relationship to be meaningful, one has to be able to transmit to grandchildren the tradition one received from grandparents…Jacob realized that grandparents, no less than parents (who are potential grandparents) carry the responsibility for the fate and faith of their grandchildren. Who is a Jew? Not one who can boast about [their] Jewish grandparents…but one who can speak with confidence about [their] Jewish grandchildren.”  

Regardless of how one defines Jewish status, there’s a powerful role for Jewish grandparents to play in the cultivation of their grandchildren’s identity and values. 

My two sets of grandparents took this role quite seriously, instilling in me different aspects of Jewish heritage. My paternal grandparents, Rabbi Mendell and Ethel Lewittes, z”l, deeply rooted in Orthodox Judaism, took great care to ensure I gained the intellectual and practical skills required for an enduring, committed Jewish life, even though they lived far away in Jerusalem. While I was living in Israel, every Friday morning I’d make my way to their apartment in Rechavia where my Zaidie and I would study Talmud together. After making it through another grueling session of his demanding, yet enlightening, instruction, I’d make my way into the kitchen where my Bubbie would be cooking for Shabbat. We’d talk about recipes she’d learned from her mother and grandmother. She’d scold me for sneaking tastes from everything while she added a few ladles of water to the soup for last minute additional guests. And then she’d be sure to get a nap in before lighting candles - a far cry from the mayhem in mine and Andi’s kitchen as the  sun sets! Their claim upon me filled me with reverence for learning, for observance, for devotion to the State of Israel, for the rigors of Jewish life and the courage it demands.

My maternal grandparents, Eileen and Lou Cohen, z”l, played a daily role in my life growing up in Montreal. They lived just a few streets away where their home was a second home to me. Sleepovers followed by lazy breakfasts were as regular as Thursday night dinners at Pumperniks. My medically-mystifying weekly Monday morning stomach aches moved my mother to let me stay home only to then let me go to work with my grandfather and have lunch with him at Ruby Foos. I’m always reminded of him at year-end because I’d often sit with him in his home office watching him write check after check to everyone who asked him for help. And then we’d go build something in his meticulously organized workroom. Blessed with having two great-grandmothers until my late teens, I’d go with my grandmother to visit them where I’d learn about the beauty - and often the burdens - of family caregiving. Their bond with me taught me the Jewish values of kindness, generosity, and humility. And how to skip school.

Watching my mother, Betty, invest in her 16 grandchildren has been no less inspiring. Being the all-around Bubbie, she taught them everything: how to water ski, play tennis, and barbecue. She’d teach them to play cards and jax over long Shabbat afternoons. She’d travel from Toronto to New Jersey for every one of my kids’ birthdays, Special Friends Days, dance recitals, and hockey tournaments. And, she taught them to love the Laurentians as much as she does by stuffing them all into her ever-expanding cottage with Sherry by her side, making everyone laugh during precious times together. My mother took it upon herself to teach her grandchildren the singular, non-negotiable commitment to family life lived through the prism of heartfelt Jewish tradition and deep appreciation for nature’s beauty. 

What did you inherit from your grandparents in terms of Jewish values and teachings? How does their legacy live on in you?

I’m watching and learning now as my sisters build their relationships to their grandchildren. What will their legacies be? How will they transmit their Torah to their families’ next generations? In this complicated and frightening time for us all, what is the mandate of Jewish grandparents today in teaching Jewish pride and Jewish safety? As the nature of Jewish identity and expression continue to evolve, what is the essence of Jewish continuity that grandparents will endeavor to see in their grandchildren? Observing some of our friends with their grandchildren is proving to be no less fascinating, instructive, and inspiring.

Although I’m not (yet) a Bubbie, I’m grateful for the many models of grandparenting I’ve been blessed to experience and observe, all of which has brought deep meaning to the Torah’s blessing, and the responsibilities that come with it:

 ורְאֵֽה־בָנִ֥ים לְבָנֶ֑יךָ שָׁ֝ל֗וֹם עַל־יִשְׂרָאֵֽל

May you live to see your children’s children, and may the Jewish people be blessed with peace. (Ps. 128:5)

With continued prayers for the return of the last murdered hostage, Ran Gvili, for the bereaved and the injured, and with blessings for a Shabbat Shalom and a healthy and happy 2026,

Dini

Photo by Ronen Avisror