Independence Means More Than Freedom

Friday July 4, 2025/ 8 Tamuz 5785/Parashat Chukkat

Hevre/Friends,

 This is it. My most favourite weekend of the year. All of my four children, now with their partners, come together with us in the country. It’s not easy to coordinate so many schedules, yet this weekend is sacrosanct for us. And, as a parent, I’ve learned that it’s no coincidence that it always coincides with the July 4th holiday, and just after Canada Day. What we’ve all learned as a family, what we need to remember as nations, and also as the Jewish people, is what this week’s parashat Chukkat teaches: that independence means more than freedom. 

The Torah portion details the ritual of the red heifer in which a cow with all red hair – even two hairs of another color disqualified it – was burnt completely, its ashes mixed with water and sprinkled upon those who were in a state of ritual impurity as a result of coming into contact with a corpse which prevented them from coming to offer sacrifices in the Temple.

This unusual ritual is referred to as a chok – a biblical tradition that defies rational explanation and exists simply as the will of God. The Sefat Emet taught that the meaning of this ritual could only be understood by someone once they’ve performed it. Or, as Tosafot said, like a lover’s kiss, it can’t be explained; it can only be experienced. But in good Jewish style, once you say there’s no explanation for something, lots of voices chime in to offer one. As we mark Independence holidays, and especially as we wait with bated breath for news of a ceasefire, the return of our hostages, and a path to end the war in Gaza, the commentary of the Hasidic Reb Elimelech of Lizhensk feels especially resonant.

He suggests that the word chok – the term for a non-rational commandment – actually comes from the word lachkok which means to engrave.  In other words, there’s something about this ritual that leaves a lasting impression upon one’s heart and soul.  

He then connects the word chok to another word, rachok, meaning distance, suggesting that the red heifer ritual symbolizes the distance between two entities.  This purification ritual is a form of teshuvah, of repentance, of return, of bridging the distance between us and God, or the distance between who we are and whom we can be.  Distance, then, becomes a catalyst for closeness. Distance isn’t an essentially negative state; it simply reveals the challenges we face to live most closely to our truth and inspires us to reach across what divides us from others - from the Divine, from other people, from nature, and from ourselves.

The Baal Shem Tov, the founder of Hasidism, illustrated this dialectical love of distance and closeness implicit in the red heifer ritual by using the loving dynamics between parents and children.  

When a parent teaches a child to walk, the parent holds the child up on their feet.  Once the child is standing firmly, the parent lets go and moves away slightly, creating space between them, prompting the child to take steps towards their mother or father. While the child might at first sense in this dynamic a cruel distancing, and while the parent may resist moving away, at heart both know it’s a loving spur to teach the child to walk, to develop their own strengths, and to trust in themselves. Paradoxically, the more the parent steps away, the closer, stronger, more mature and more powerful the bond between the parent and the child becomes.  As with us humans, so it is with us and the Divine. These are the chukim – the experiences of distance – that become engraved upon our hearts and motivate us to fill our lives yearning for renewed closeness through our choices and commitments  – spiritual, emotional and intellectual.

Freedom does not mean a lack of connection to others. Quite the opposite. Freedom is the state of being from which we are able to build the most dignified, safe, and respectful bonds with others. 

We pray for freedom for the hostages, for their release from captivity, for their physical and psychological independence. And we pray for their ability to live in relationship to others and to themselves informed by their - and every human’s - rights to liberty and autonomy.

We celebrate the sovereignty of our nations, and vigorously defend the sovereignty of the State of Israel. But sovereignty is not about closing ourselves off to others; it’s about cultivating - without coercion - productive and purposeful relationships with others.

I cherish my relationships with my children. And I treasure our bond which only deepens as they grow more and more into their own, independent lives. 

With continued prayers for our ability to bring home all the hostages, protect the soldiers, heal the injured, comfort the bereaved, and build a lasting peace in Israel and around the world, and with blessings for a Shabbat Shalom,

Dini

Photo Courtesy of Ronen Avisror