Face the Cringe

Friday November 21, 2025/Rosh Chodesh Kislev 5786/Shabbat Toldot

וַיֹּ֨אמֶר יַעֲקֹ֜ב אֶל־אָבִ֗יו אָנֹכִי֙ עֵשָׂ֣ו בְּכֹרֶ֔ךָ

Jacob said to his father, “I am Esav, your first-born.” 

Hevre/Friends,

Cringeworthy. That’s the only word for some of the Torah’s disturbing scenes of our ancestors behaving badly: Sarah insisting Abraham banish Hagar and Ishmael to the desert; God commanding Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, and Abraham listening; and this week, at the insistence of his mother, Rebekah, Jacob disguising himself as Esav and lying to his father so he could receive the sacred blessing of the covenant. 

Many have waxed eloquently - including me, although probably not as eloquently - about the valuable lessons of our ancestors’ imperfections. Their limitations make them infinitely more relatable and teach us to learn from our mistakes rather than reach for some unattainable moral perfection. Reading the Torah over and over again as we do, it’s the gift that keeps on giving. 

Rather than excising these stories from our canon, we summon our intellects and hearts to examine the moral failures of our mythic ancestors, mining them for guidance and inspiration. We read the passages, explore commentaries, preach sermons, and discuss with family and friends. But while that works for our ancient offenders, it doesn’t when it comes to our fellow Jews’ violations of our ethics. And it shouldn’t.

We read the news about a banker’s financial improprieties or a landlord’s fraudulent schemes and hope they aren’t Jewish. We know that shame. But the news these days has brought us to a new level of humiliation. Violent settlers in the West Bank burning down mosques and setting cars on fire; destroying olive groves and attacking Arab villagers. Yes, we are living through shocking anti-Israel vitriol and the trauma of October 7 is unrelenting. But even if these are the reasons behind this behaviour and not the insidious racism that has grown to animate so many, this is no time to equivocate. Those attacks need to be roundly condemned and perpetrators must be held accountable. Those savage assaults do indeed need to be exposed as Jewishly indefensible. Defending ourselves when attacked is one thing; bloody and murderous rampages are another. They not only endanger innocent Palestinians; they endanger us all at a time when our Jewishness is met with ever more disdain, rejection, and violence.

Let me be clear: I am not suggesting that antisemitism is our problem to solve. It is the problem of antisemites. But it most certainly is our responsibility to show up in the world in a manner that manifests the integrity and dignity of our people and our tradition. Even when we’re justifiably indignant. (For a dramatic wrestling with this very idea, be sure to see Sol Rubinek in “Playing Shylock” as he navigates centuries of antisemitism with today’s identity politics.)

In the end, as Jacob prepares to flee to Haran to escape Esav’s wrath, he appears before his father one more time - as himself. And it is only in this honest moment of self-disclosure that Isaac actually bestows upon Jacob the covenantal blessing Jacob tried to manipulate out of him before, but failed. Only in this scene does Isaac say, “May you be granted the blessing of Abraham…”. For it is only by being true to our values and worthy of our promise that we can hope for the blessings we crave.  

On this first day of the month of Kislev, our month of Chanukah flames, let's step into the light of moral and spiritual clarity.

With ongoing prayers for the return of all the murdered hostages, for the bereaved and the injured, and with blessings for a Shabbat Shalom and a Chodesh Tov,

Dini

(Photo by Ronen Avisror)