Friends in all kinds of places

Friday February 14, 2025/16 Sh'vat 5785

Parashat Yitro

Friends/Hevre, 

Driving back to New York from Montreal this past Tuesday I did something I never, ever do. Over the decades I’ve encountered some aggressive border agents and I didn’t want any delays that day as I had a family dinner in Manhattan to get to a few hours later. And so, symptomatic of the effects of the shocking antisemitism festering in Canada, as I approached the booth I reluctantly slipped my large Magen David under my shirt so as to remove any potential provocation. 

You can ask Andi: Despite her pleading with me in certain settings, I NEVER remove or hide my Magen David, no matter where we are. It is anathema to my Jewish pride. I actually felt sick doing it this week. I should have been willing to risk being late to dinner and not compromise my Jewish integrity. It felt equally distasteful to me to assume that anyone I encounter could be a raging Jew-hater. Just the day before I had given a Magen David to a young Jewish adult I met a few weeks ago who, prompted by my own necklace, asked me to buy one for him!  I was disgusted with myself for the rest of the drive. If only I had studied this week’s Torah portion before getting on the road.

Much ink has been spilled by commentators throughout the ages trying to explain (or justify) how it is that the Torah reading which contains the defining moment of our Jewish story - the revelation on Mount Sinai and the giving of the Ten Commandments - is named after someone who isn’t Jewish, Moses’ father-in -law, Yitro (Jethro). Over the last week, many more have added their voices to the discussion, especially in light of today’s world wherein relations between the Jewish people and what feels like an overwhelming number of non-Jews have become terrifying as a result of vicious antisemitism. Among them, Mijal Bitton, an insightful scholar and innovative spiritual leader of NYC’s Downtown Minyan, offers an important perspective. 

Closely reading the sequence of events leading up to Sinai, Mijal points out that something important happens after our dramatic escape from our Egyptian oppressors which included an attack upon us by the evil Amalekites and before the giving of the Torah. What happens in the middle is that Yitro arrives - a Midianite priest and wise man - together with his daughter, Moses’ wife Zipporah, and their children. Yitro comes with admiration for our people and our god, and even guides Moses in designing more efficient strategies for managing the nation. Unfolding just before the revelation of the Torah, this narrative reveals a bond with the outside world based on respect and collaboration. 

Mijal’s message about this sequence of events is that the covenant that shapes us and our behaviour as Jews summons us to engage with the broader world not only with fear and anger at those who hate and oppress us, but also with pride and appreciation for all those who stand with and for us. And we know there are many. Without being naive or reckless, we have to be able navigate our frequently toxic world without succumbing to the toxicity of our own paranoia or xenophobia.

Approaching the border, I should have recalled the amazing experience Andi and I had at Shabbat on the Slopes last weekend at Mont Blanc. A man approached our table laden with challah and kiddush and shared that though he isn’t Jewish, he had tasted challah before. And then, over the next 30 minutes and with irrepressible tears, he told us how he survived two bouts of cancer thanks to the skilled and loving care of the staff at Montreal’s Jewish General Hospital for which he holds endless gratitude and affection for the Jewish people, showing it by supporting the hospital and its many programs. We were so moved by this man’s emotion and passion. I expressed how gratified I am that our community was able to help him, and asked that he now help us as we need the allyship of the outside world. He said he’s already working to help people in his community better understand and support us, and pledged to strengthen his efforts. 

As if to make sure I had learned my lesson, yesterday in New York City I had two random encounters with people on the street who were not Jewish who commented on how much they liked my Magen David. And no, I don’t think they were Elijah the Prophet in disguise. I think they, and our friend at the ski hill, are emblematic of the allies the story of Yitro urges us to remember as we recommit to the sacred responsibilities the Torah places upon us to do our part in building a world of love, respect and unity.

Photo Courtesy of Ronen Avisror